Our Children were home and safe!!

The whole time we were getting ready for the children to come our other two children were so happy to have two big brothers and a sister. Our little girl was the most excited of all. She would talk about all of the things that she and her sister would do together. She already had love for her siblings and they weren’t even here yet. Our little girl has a pure and solid heart. We had spoken to the children on the phone and found out some things that they liked doing or reading or what their favorite cartoon characters were. When our little Zoey found out that Rouri liked disney princesses she was so happy. She found every princess book we had and put them on a shelf for her sisters arrival. In a way I think Zoey was a little more stressed out about things than we were. She had to have everything perfect for them. Our little boy Brayden is the type that will just say “i want a big brother” and that would  be the end of the conversation, but he was only two so that was acceptable. Both Brayden and Zoey knew that this was the day that they were going to meet their brothers and sister. They had been so excited all day long and kept asking “where are they”? “When are they going to be here”? Then finally I had gotten a phone call from Christie to meet her close by to follow me to our house. I was putting some finishing touches on the new toy room when I got the call so I dropped everything and ran out the door to meet her. We met at a gas station which was about 35 minutes from my house. I arrived at the meeting place and we soon left to come home. On the way home she was pulled over by the police because she had a light out on the trailer, so we got that situated and continued our journey home. When we arrived at our house, Shannon was so excited, standing at the front door waiting to embrace his children that he had not seen for 5 years. The joy in my heart was so heavy for him, I wasn’t going to see my husband cry every Christmas and on nights that the children were heavy on his heart anymore. This was a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders. The first one through the door was his little girl, she wasn’t so little anymore she was now 6 years old. We noticed right away that there was something wrong with her because she had no idea who her father was and was not aware of what was going on and the only way to describe her is that she was a “space cadet”. She was completely oblivious to what was going on around her. The next two through the door were the two boys. At that time, one was 11 and one was 7. They were more open than the little girl. We now had Kody who was 11, Justin who was 7, Rouri who was 6, Zoey who was 4, and Brayden who was 2. Wow! We quickly went from a household with two children to five….. We also had my husbands father who lived with us at the time (Tim), who was not much help but he did want to see his grand kids. I am not too partial to that man so I am going to leave him out of my story. When we had everyone here it was a blessing! We were so happy but yet so nervous. We had no idea what these children had been through. Kody was angry to be here, he had heard some pretty terrible things about his dad and didn’t want to be a part of him. Justin was angry also but not as angry as Kody. We had soon discovered that Christie had not mentioned to her husband about the custody agreement with the courts about the kids. He had no idea that Shannon had custody and had no idea that Shannon even existed. The night that the kids came, Christy and Clifford had no where to stay. I offered them our couch with their two little girls and we were turned down. They had ran out of money on the way here so we paid for them a hotel room for a couple of nights. It was just down the road because we wanted her to help the children transition into our home, we thought it would be easier than it would be if she wasn’t here at all. It was late the night that they came so the children said their good byes to Christie and Clifford and their sisters and then went to bed. The next day I went to the apartment complex where I was going to rent an apartment for them and got all of the paperwork together that I needed to get them into the apartment quickly so they didn’t have to stay at the hotel any longer. The apartment was 3 minutes and 54 seconds from her driveway to mine. I was excited about this because she was even closer to the kids and it would be easier for them to see the kids. The next day the apartment was ready to move their things into. Before they moved we had to figure out how to get the lights turned on because they couldn’t afford it. I went to the light company with Christie and got the lights turned on for her. After the money was exchanged and the apartment was paid for and the lights were turned on, I was blocked off of her facebook….. How great is that! The only contact that I had with Christie now was a phone that was soon to be disconnected. We didn’t have much contact with Christie after we got the kids, It was almost like she dropped them off at our door and just left.  There were several phone calls made to Christie about the children. I tried to keep her a big part of their lives. On February the 12th I had to call her and ask her if Rouri has had a problem with telling the boys that she wouldn’t leave them alone until they gave her what she wanted. Christie just replied “all the time” and that was the end of that conversation. On the 13th i got a text asking me if i get the weekend paper and I said no. This was the day i found out that i was blocked from facebook. on the 14th Christie called and told the kids happy Valentines Day. on the 17th we had to take our oldest Kody to the emergency room because he was jumping on the trampoline and his ears started bleeding!!!  We were terrified! I tried to call and text Christie asking her what medications he was allergic to and I got no response. On the 19th Christie came to my house, not to see the kids, she was just here to ask me if I would activate her new phone……  need I say more about that conversation……  On the 20th I text her to let her know that Justin had a stomach bug…..  and of course, yep you guessed it, No response. The same day that Justin had a stomach bug, Kody and I were wrestling around in the floor and Kody decided to go tug on Justins sock while he was laying on the couch and Justin then got up and tried to play with us however, I did not know that he was out for revenge! Justin took his sock off and shoved it in Kodys mouth, well I saw it as boys will be boys, Kody bit down on Justins finger and before we knew it Justin stood up and stomped on Kodys eye!!! We immediately rushed him to the hospital, he had lost vision in his eye for 24 hours. Now that situation was scary. I had tried to contact Christie via phone to let her know what had happened and of course she would not answer, so I decided to go to her house and ask her to come and help us talk to Justin about the situation, she responded by saying “I have had the kids for 5 years now and now they are your problem, deal with it”. Ok now, If anyone knows me they know I am a little hot tempered. I was so angry that she wouldn’t offer her help with the situation knowing one of her children hurt another child. The door was slammed in my face and she would not reopen the door. I was so furious! It wasn’t again until the 27th that we had contact with Christie and that day changed our life drastically. That day we found out that our little girl had been molested in school when she was 5 by a student in her class. We were also told on that day that Justin has to be tested for Leukemia every year and arthritis. Come to find out there were not medical records to support this, Also we were told that Kody has a vitamin K deficiency, Also this was not true because there is no such thing as a Vitamin K deficiency. After finding out about Rouri being molested at school, we immediately started calling the police station to get the report and find out what was done about the situation. There was a report filed however there was nothing that could be done because the little boy was also 5 years old. This explains a little bit about why Rouri is so distant and such a “space cadet”. The next contact we had with Christie was on the 2nd of March, she sent me a text and asked me to tell the kids that she loves them and misses them. I was a little confused about this text because if you love and miss your children wouldn’t you do anything and everything to see your kids? Since I didn’t want to hide anything at all from the kids, I did what she asked and told them what she said. Kody asked the same question that I asked my self, “if she loves us and misses us why wont she come see us”? I had no idea what to say to them, I just told them that maybe she was a little busy with the girls and left it at that. On March the 8th I contacted Christie to ask her to come to the house to discuss the children’s schooling and she said “I think you can handle a little thing such as schooling”. Needless to say I was not happy with this woman at this point, I was so angry that she had not seen her children since 3 days after they had gotten here and she wasn’t making an effort to see them. I decided to stop calling her for anything. If she wanted to see or talk to the children she could contact me and we would work something out. There was no contact with me or the kids from March 8th to March 31st, this was Easter and she called to talk to the kids and wish them a happy Easter, I had to make a decision. The last phone call she made was on Valentines day which was February 14th, it was now March 31st. In my head I was thinking there is no way I am going to let her only call on Holidays, She will not be a pop in and pop out mom, either she is here or she is not. I saw first hand how hurt the kids were that they were not seeing their mother and I was not going to let her continue to hurt them. The kids were finally opening up to us and trusting us. I decided to tell her No she could not speak to the children because they do not need a pop in and pop out mother. She was angry and was crying saying “they are my kids, I can talk to them if I want now give them the phone”. Of course I again said no. I simply said if you make an effort in calling your kids on other days besides holidays, then I will not have a problem with you talking to the kids. The whole month of April there was no contact with Christie. Even though she had a son who’s birthday was April 13th, she did not call. I had spoke to her sister Kerrie a few times since I was getting no help from their mother, I needed someone to answer questions about the children. So I called Kerrie in April to let her know that I had not had contact from her sister since Easter and that the kids were doing good, and were adjusting well. With that phone call I was told that Christie was going to leave where we live and move to Alabama soon. I was so mad, she was up and running away like she always does, I felt that the children would be better without her in their lives anyways but, she was still their mother. I was waiting to see if she was actually going to move and leave her children behind. We were still trying to get as much information about the kids medical and schooling and really just everything in general. We weren’t told much about the kids when she dropped them off or there after so we needed more information. I found out quickly that the information i needed I was not going to get, so we did the best with what we had. My husband and I decided to put the children in therapy because we felt that there were some things that were going on with them that they needed someone to tell and they weren’t quite there with us yet. Therapy was the best decision we had made for the children, we found out so much about what they went through and it was heart breaking. We will get into that a little later. Christie did move on May 1st 2013 to Alabama, she did not tell us where she was going. She didn’t even say good bye to her children. She just left. I did receive an e-mail on May 14th from her………………  This will be my next post. ………  To be continued

How it all began……

As I said in my first post My husband and I have a blended family. We have two children together and three children by his ex wife. I will start at the beginning……  My husband was hit head on by a semi (18 wheeler, mac truck) on Valentines day in 2007. Shortly after the wreck his ex wife (Christie) left him before he could even walk again. She left without warning and took their children from him. My husband was not allowed to see his children often. Only when their mother said it was ok and she was around to supervise…  He needed no supervision but he abided by her rules so he can see his children.   Shortly after they were separated (September 2007) My husband and I started dating. In the same month I found out I was pregnant again…. I had previously had two miscarriages so I had no live children. I had a high risk pregnancy through out the entire pregnancy and was extremely nervous. I was told earlier into my second miscarriage that I would never be able to have children. I thought of my Daughter as a blessing! May 17th 2008 I gave birth to the most amazing little girl she was 7 weeks early and weighed 4 lbs 6 ounces and was absolutely perfect🙂. Shortly after our daughter was born we were married on February 5th 2009. We were so happy with our little girl, we had so much love for her, it was just an all around awesome experience.  Although we were happy, we knew something was missing out of our lives. We were missing his three children….  At this point he hadn’t seen his children since Christmas of 2008. That is a long time to go without seeing your children. Out of the blue after we were married in 2009 we got a phone call from Christie (his ex), we were in shock.. She said she just wanted to let the kids talk to their dad but they did not want to call him dad because they were punished if they did…. They wanted to call him Shannon. That was a very difficult call for Shannon. His children didn’t know him as daddy anymore. As you could imagine that would hurt anyone. The phone call didn’t last very long, Shannon told Christie that we had married and she was upset at that fact so she ended the phone call. I can’t remember exactly when but I know it was only a few months later that Shannon had received another phone call out of the blue to let him know that he has a 14 yr old son!! I know your probably thinking “how does someone not know they have a 14 year old child”? I asked the same question and it was quite simple. The mother of that child told Shannon that the child was not his and left after the baby was born never to be seen again. His son is now 19 years old and we have seen him twice which didn’t go so well. Everything was blamed on Shannon by his son, even though the boys mother told him that Shannon had nothing to do with her leaving and keeping Shannon out of his life. Well after our first visit to his son in North Carolina…. I found out I was again pregnant…… Again I was surprised… After the wreck Shannon was told that he could not have anymore children so yes with both of us being told that we cant have kids it absolutely floored us. Happy…. but floored. We were pregnant with a little baby boy! My pregnancy with him was not as hard as my daughter. I was actually feeling good and having really good check ups at the doctor. He was growing as he should and everything looked great every time I went to the doctor. With me having the miscarriages I still went to a specialist for high risk pregnancies. I was at my 5 month mark into the pregnancy and had an appointment to find out the sex of my baby when I got the terrifying news that my baby had a hole in his heart. He was possibly going to have downs syndrome (which this didn’t worry me so much because I worked with CDC children in the past so I was ok with it), we were also told that he had spina bifida. Now this part scared me… The ultrasound tech that came in let the news slip before the doctor came in which was way worse than hearing it from a doctor. She came into the room and said we are going to see if your baby really has spina bifids through the ultrasound and see if we can see a hole in his heart and spine. I almost jumped off of the exam table asking her if she mixed up the rooms that she was in, I thought she was supposed to be in someone else’s room and made a huge mistake. She was in shock to find out that the doctor hadn’t been in to talk with us yet about the baby. She then ran out of the room and told the doctor what she had done. He came straight in and explained that the test that women have when they are pregnant to show the markers for these illnesses in babies came back positive but, we were there to rule them out. Needless to say from that point on, until he was born, was the most fearful that I had ever been. I was miserable. During the pregnancy on top of the bad news, I broke out in hives from head to toe, I was itching, miserable, hot, scared, and just really ready to have my baby. November 16th 2010 we gave birth to a beautiful baby boy!! He was healthy and happy.. The only two issues that our son had when he was born was positional club feet (which is really easy to correct) and he has hyper spadia (an enlarged opening where he pees) Other than these two things he was perfect! He weighed 6 lbs 3 ounces and just as happy as he could be! Even after the most amazing joy from having both of our babies, we were still missing three. I will skip on down to New Years Day in 2013……  WE FOUND THE CHILDREN!!!!  We now knew where they were and we had a well check done by the police in Michigan where they were found and they said yes your children are there and ok. After the court papers had been sent to Christie telling her that if she did not turn the children over to their father (who btw won custody in the divorce because she was found unfit) or she would have federal charges pressed against her and she would serve time. FINALLY after 5 long years and 2 very long weeks of trying to get beds, bedding, rooms cleared out in our house, and helping Christie figure out how to get the children here………  THE CHILDREN WERE HOME!!!!!! This was February 8th 2013!      To be continued…………

Our new life

This blog will be to help people understand the struggles that my husband and I go through with a blended family on a daily basis…. This will also help my sanity…. lets hope lol 😉 Stay tuned for some interesting reads 😊